A new dilemma was brewing with one of her "seeds". My brother wasn't
feeling the love from nobody. He was sooooo bad for no reason we thought
he was crazy. One day I was looking for him for something. I couldn't find him at all people. I looked in closets, outside, and not to mention I was screaming his name like I lost Lassie. Something said "Look under the bed dummy." I bent down and seen a plastic bag wrapped around his face. He was really trying to kill himself. I pulled him out from under that bed, poked a whole in the plastic and proceeded to kickin his azz! While tears streamed down my face I grabbed him and hugged him like I haven't seen him in years! As I held him I muttered, "I love you!". He apologized and didn't say why he tried to kick the bucket. I didn't understand depression but I understood life. To me my brother & sisters was my "life". I didn't have a relationship with God. To be real at this time didn't "fully" understand who he was. Matter of fact I didn't even fully know my mother and father! Too young to truly grasp his sickness I just knew he wanted attention. He was dealing with something that I couldn't figure out and till this day I still don't know what triggered him. Looking at the pain he caused to me that must have sparked a light in him mentally. 1996 mom came back for good and well things didn't get any better. My gpops and my step gma broke up and she let us get the house since mom agreed to pay the notes. About 7 months later financial woes lead to the "repossession" of our baby blue mini van and we got evicted from the house. My life did a complete "180" again. I didn't cry I just was ready to seek shelter b/c being homeless is the "PITS". We moved in with my aunt and 4 kids in her 2 bedroom apt. Mind you it was my mom, the 3 boys, plus my aunt kids. So bye bye bed and hello floor! It became my best friend and efficient room was a mirage.......
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2 years ago
20 comments:
I've been contemplating how easy it would be to rent a storage unit for under 100 bucks a month and just set up house. Some of those things are climate controlled and fairly large, ya know?
That is horrible that you were homeless at one point, I can't even imagine what that would be like. It's great that your aunt helped out and let you live with her.
hey honey, i so heart you for sharing your story
i dont know what i would have done if my brother tried to kill himself
so glad that you were able to save him, poor baby!!!
hope that you had a wonderful weekend honey!!!
Man that seemed like a cleansing post. You are definitely keeping it real. Peace and Blessings. Keep your mind free. I am a Navy veteran. Are you a Shellback? Golden!, here brother.
Everytime I even THINK about being UnGrateful or Selfish. for even a Flash of a Second, I receive Messages like the one you've just Posted, and it HITS ME, once again, just how TRULY Blessed I actually Am.
THANKYOU for Sharing this Bro.
God has a way of making things better...and it seems like u are doing better these days. Happy that things have looked up for u :)
great post...very inspiring.
Doozie LOL.....
Nicole no im happy I expreienced all that it made me RICH!
Dreamy I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't save him
Remorji yep man traveled the world and still am but im not a shell back that's the crazy thing....
Vandam thx I really appreciate that
Am he has so much people sometimes don't understand u know how good he is...
Dessex thx
wow, these posts are deep. depression is more common than we'd like to admit. i know quite a few people [men, especially] who went thru that "dark period" in their lives.. feeling lost, unsure of their futures, dejected.. to the point where they tried to kill themselves. luckily, they realized what they were doing before they succeeded [some of them had people in their lives, like you to your brother, who pulled them thru those times].
anyway, i truly believe what we go thru shapes the person we become.. all the hardship and the stuff you've been thru/seen in your life definitely makes you realize "life".. and to never take for granted so many things many of us do! so thx for sharing your experiences w/ us!
good post!
I'm shocked that you are still standing, you lived a ruff life as a child, and it's going to make you the best parent ever!
thank god you got to lil bro before he took his life.
Foxxy anytime...im glad you all are reading this bc it might make yall see life in a different set of eyes
Luv yea god put me there to help him bc I would've never found him..
Each pt. is better than the last, not because of what happened, but because of how you re-tell it. Keeping it real, def. Doesn't get any realer than that. Major props. =]
I had to read the part about your brother twice. It must have been so hard to even experience something like that. Depression is very serious, and it saddens me when some take it as something you can just up and get over; it takes time and support, and most importantly prayer. Thank you for sharing these stories.
Kmx thank you I really appreciate when u guys read my life story...
Kei I stil don't understand depression. Its one of the things u have to go through to fully understand.....
I felt that moment, sir. It actually made my eyes water for a moment.
Life, it can either make us stronger or break us. I think it made you stronger, but I don't really know you, huh? Still.....
One man im humbled by your reaction and it has made me stronger as a man....
your brother was lucky you were there in time. depression is so hard. even when it's "beaten" it is still there. sadly. i know how that goes.
Damn, that's crazy..Depression is the real deal..
Good looks on making me your blog of the day..Preciate the love..i'm going to put you in my Pass the Love post 2morrow so check it out!
Farren depression is that monster that mostly all people hate to encounter
Ms lovely anytime im a bigger fan than writer
Bruh,
God has something big in store for your life. I just know it. He doesn't bring us through all these trials and tribulations for no reason. You are indeed a strong man.
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