Control The Wood!

Morning wood is a beast but I have a couple solutions to simmer down that morning wood! You can first do the Tummy Touch if your able. Simply loosen your belt, flip it up on your belly button, and you're good. When it goes down it simply pops back in the boxers! This method may not be suitable for thong wearers (EWWWW) or for that morning piss. Number 2 is to think about the fattest,nastiest, most un-sexy thing you would never bust down and it should shrink right down depending on the severity of your hardness.

We all know about urine filled wood.

Its like a uncontrollable water hose. To conquer that human garden hose simple lift the toilet seat, get on one knee, take a firm grip and wiz. Now if you can't make it into the toilet water then simply sit down! If your spouse or associate enter in the bathroom tell her to get out cause you have diarrhea to explain that pouring sound!

Now if you have morning wood for more than 20 minutes I highly recommend rubbing one out. I haven't personally tried this method but I heard it works like a charm plus it helps prevent testicular cancer!